I reflected on that this morning. I don't see myself in contemporary culture. I'm as absent as the back teeth stolen from my smile by diabetes: my place remains but the space merely marks the missing.
I'm out of sync. I don't fit. And as I gaze into society, I don't see my beliefs reflected. I don't fit emotionally, spiritually, or ideologically. I haven't felt like this since, oh hell, high school? No. College.
In high school I didn't fit the mold of masculinity.
In the seminary I didn't fit the mold of spirituality.
But I soothed myself with the notion of subsets. I was confined in a subculture of anachronism. And I dreamt of a bigger set. I envisioned inclusion in a global catholicism. So I remained set in my ways; my beliefs set in a stone: solid, spherical, secured.
I remain in a subset. I don't feel unfit. I just feel alone.