Thursday, August 28, 2008

What Drives A Person Like Her?

As I drove home last night, I saw an old friend of mine walking with his wife and his son. I went around the block so that I could greet him. I refuse to drive beside someone who used to walk by my side and pretend I don't see him. I believe in the synchronicity of Divinity. If I encounter someone I realize there's a reason even if I don't know it. So I'll stop and recognize the moment and I'll take the time to mark it. And most importantly, I'll remind myself that although the moment is synchronized, it doesn't mean that the moment is about me.

So I stopped my car and I hopped out and I offered him my handshake and my hello. We were good buddies. And for about a year, I counted him among my closest friends. But school ended, time passed, and we went separate ways and built separate lives. I've seen him less than five times in twenty-five years.

So I greeted him and I shook his hand. His wife and his son didn't stop walking away from us. But, I greeted her out of courtesy. She turned to face me and her face shoved hostility at me. Her mouth was silent, but her demeanor was violent. I have a strong personality. I am formidable. I often encounter people who do not prefer me. Hell, I have more than a handful who hate me. So, I've dealt with rejection, repudiation, and rebuffs. But I've never faced such fierceness. I've never encountered such venom. Her behavior was out of proportion. He felt uncomfortable; I felt unwelcomed; her reaction seemed extreme. I waved her off and I said my goodbye to him and I climbed back into my car. I felt foolish that I had stopped. And I felt ashamed for him.

I don't understand her behavior. I've never liked her. Well, who could? But I was pleasant because I care for her husband. I was pleasant to her as a gift for him. I've never been abrasive to her, so her abhorrence of me stems from her perception and not my action. I don't understand why she made the situation about the two of us when it should've been about her husband. She should have cared enough about him to greet me. I cared enough about him to greet her. Her behavior was inconsiderate. All her considerations remained within herself.


I have no clever or insightful way to end this. I'm sorry he ended up with her. He deserved better.