Friday, March 20, 2009

Facing The Cold Hard Facts

I used this picture on Facebook for my profile picture and I received a bit of criticism. Friends felt I looked too cruel or too mean or too unhappy.

I can see it’s not the most flattering of photographs. But, I’ve always maintained that I don’t photograph well. I met a friend for drinks last night and she said, “you’re better looking in person.” So, that’s cheerful. Yet, this is the picture that best represents me.

This is my face.

I am an exacting, demanding, unyielding, uncompromising, and a diligently disciplined, rigid man.

At first when people meet me - they think I'm affable; I am. They think I'm kind; I try to be. Then they make the mistake of thinking that I'm so kind, that I’m rather simple and limited. And so they offer my soul for their sport.

Initially my conscience pockets my fist and tucks my tongue. I sit a smile on my lips and I open my palm in the hope of fraternity.

I can’t tell you how often I turn my cheek, touch my toes, bend over backwards, swallow my pride, offer the space between my shoulders as a sheath, accept a presumed and assumed apology, or explain my actions to the unreasoned - in the name of servitude, discipleship, and amendment of my indiscretions.

† I offer my pride because enlightenment carries the lion share of responsibility.

† I offer my apology to prompt a rote from immobile lips.

† I offer my palm as a reminder that a fist is a reaction.

† I humiliate myself so that others won't feel embarrassed.

† I say it aloud so that others know the words are allowed out loud.

† I offer a fair shake so people can shake off their fears and realize friendship has no fare.

† I recognize others’ accomplishments so they can recognize recognition.

† I reveal my sins so others will understand the restrictions of the revelations.

† I write my enlightenments so others will see a flame in their darkened.

† I return and refurrow my path so that others can see it is possible to move forward.

† I share my vision so that others may seek revision.

† I walk away to remind others there are consequences.

† I do because I see the due.

† I do because I see I do have the responsibility to offer dew in others' desertions.

Yet with knowledge of my probity and awareness of my rigidity, people attempt to manipulate me and to exploit my conscience for their bidding. And then they meet this face. I confront their affront. They're surprised. Well, my conscience pocketed my fist and tucked my tongue. I sat a smile on my lips and I opened my palm in the hope of fraternity. But, those were actions. They've forced me to react to their act. I don't know why people are stunned by my reaction to their ridicule.

I'm a force when I'm forced.
And that's a cold, hard, fact.