Monday, March 9, 2009

Follow The Leader

Whether I’m in a bar with a buddy, an office with a colleague, a virtual water cooler with a comrade, or sharing a moment with a woman - we all seem to be discussing the same thing: where are we going? What are we supposed to do? How long are we supposed to wait? Jesus, are you as afraid as I am?

Lately, I find myself using Facebook a great deal. I’ve described it as sort of a water cooler that I gather around throughout my day to chat with my co-workers. And I’ve filled out many of those memes. Well except for the ones that seek your mother’s maiden name or other information that leads to accounts.

Ok. Now this is a mash of many memes, my status updates, a few emails and thoughts I’ve had.

I did a little “3 Facts” meme and one of the questions asked "what are you looking forward to?" And I couldn't think of one thing I'm really looking forward to. I'm not hopeless; I'm not hopeful. I don't know. But I must be going somewhere because I feel the wind at my back and I feel the urge to get there. I just don't know where the hell I'm going. Every time I knock the door is slammed. Every time I seek, I find myself blinded. Yet when I ask, I receive. I receive the Sacraments.

So I'm maintaining and attaining but I don't have one damn clue to what it is I'm preparing to do.

And yet I yearn. And I wait. I’m weighted by the wait.

I don't feel alone. And I don't feel lost. I feel aimless. I'm in motion. My emotions are in motion. I just don't have a concrete goal. Maybe it's middle-age. I don't know. But I know I'm not alone. I have faith in God and I have knowledge of the synchronicity of Divinity. I hear the concurrence in the rhythm, I just don't know the parade route.

I often find myself standing in the middle of an emotional road and I’m practically inert because the stress and the conflicts have made me befuddled about where to put my first step. And I often feel like I’ve taken a misstep. So before I take the next step, I stand still. I don’t sit down; I don't take a step back. I stand staid. And I remember: God The Father gave us the Sacraments. The Synchronicity of Divinity - All Three Divine Persons are present in each Sacrament. I worthily receive the Sacraments and wait for the wisdom to know where to walk.

“Pick up your cross and follow me.” We don’t need to know the where because we know the who. And He knows where we’ve been and where we need to be.

And God will show us where to walk. He’s left us a little trail of bread crumbs. “I Am The Bread of Life.”

I Am (who am) - God The Father
The Bread - Jesus Christ
Life - The Breath of God - The Holy Spirit.

Anytime you can’t see the evidence of The Holy Trinity, God is not present. And when we are in His presence and receiving His present - we must not look where to place our first step. We must fall to our knees.