Friday, July 3, 2009

Older

I don't think I fit most stereotypes. I'm not athletic. I can't fix a car. I can't quote sports scores. In my youth I worried that I was less a man because I didn't necessarily fit a mold.

But, I'm old now. And I'm not embarrassed of the man I've become.

Yet I often feel humiliated when I exhibit my vulnerability. I'm not saying I'm not a hardass. I can be. And many times I’m cruel. But - I allow my vulnerability to show. I reveal my limitations. I expose my emotions regardless of the consequence.

I'm not saying it's not difficult because I often feel the fool. I've just realized I'm tired of fearing the risk and would rather face a reprisal. And I remind myself daily that vulnerability doesn’t mean I’m less a man - it means I’m more human.