Tuesday, October 5, 2010

A Rant

Sometimes a man does all the right things and then he wants sex and she says, “why should I? What’s in it for me?”

Well he could reply, “intimacy, companionship, stress relief, satiation of physical desire.” Hell, there are lots of options for her.

Or he could just go for the truth: “I want the release and I’m lonely and we could share a few great moments together that will remind us we’re not alone and we actually matter to somebody else who also wants to share a deep connection with another human being. And sleeping alone sucks. And I don’t want to do that tonight. So togetherness is what's in it for you. Community is what's in it for you. Being a part of someone else or something else is what's in it for you.”

But that’s a lot to give to someone who just wants to take.

And sometimes women don’t understand that she's not satisfying the man. Some women don’t understand that when a woman wants “to have it all” she's left nothing for anyone else. Some women don’t understand that no one can have the sum of some. That there is proportion and justice and equity and each is a necessity in a relationship. And that sometimes a man honestly tries to be what a woman wants him to be - but her expectations are too high. Because if she has it all then what does he get? Does he get any?

Some women don’t understand that a man doesn’t always understand what he is supposed to do to get any of his justly due some. I have never heard a man ask or say he wants it all. A guy just wants some. What does a guy say? “I'm going out tonight and get me some.”

So why does he go out to get himself some? She's not satisfying him. Get that? And he doesn’t understand. And he’ll seek understanding somewhere else. Because he hopes that “else” has “some.” Get it? And then she’s going to end up with none. He just wanted some.

Men just want enough to not have to ask for any.

And that was a rant.