"Oh my God!"
"Do you know how hard it was to find you?" He shifted his phone from his left side to his right. "I just had a long conversation with your mother about whether or not I ever amounted to anything."
"Did I have a conversation with your mother? Yes."
"No. Did you ever amount to anything?"
"Do you know who this is?"
"Of course I do. I recognize your voice."
"Well, I amounted to a balding, half-assed writer. The best part? What I lost in fuckability, I gained in adorablity."
"You always were kinda cute."
"And you were always the sexiest bitch I ever knew."
"Thank you. So what's new?"
"I thought about you this morning."
"Hey, just a minute."
"Okay. Should I entertain myself while you're gone?"
She laughed. "This isn't going to be that kind of call."
He laughed. "Been there. Done that."
"I just want to grab a new pack of cigarettes."
He rifled through his emails while she rifled through her purse.
"So what reminded you of me?"
"Okay, get ready to surf this."
"Do you know who this is?"
He beamed a smile. "You always could surf my velocity waves."
"Okay so I went out last night."
"I'm with you so far!" She giggled.
"And one of my buddies ..."
She interrupted, "Do I know him?"
"No. Anyway, he said my writing is intense."
"How do you know?"
"Google your name sometime."
"Well then why haven't I ever heard from you?"
"What's there to say?"
"True. True enough."
"Anyway, because it was morning and I woke up in a state."
"You always woke up like that."
"All guys do."
"I know. We're getting off topic."
"Actually we're not. I woke up and of course I thought about sex. Morning sex is my favorite."
"Well then you've changed."
"Yes. You used to prefer shower sex."
"Oh hell yes! What was I thinking? I haven't changed." They laughed.
"Anyway I thought of you because you're the best sex I've ever had."
"Woman. I have just tracked you down like a stalker for an hour and then justified my existence to a woman who clearly doesn't feel I should be in existence."
"My mother never liked you."
"Apparently. Anyway, would I do all that just to call you up to lie? You are the best sex I've ever had."
"Absolutely. Want to know why you're the best sex I've ever had?"
"I told you we're not going to have that kind of call." She laughed.
"Hey be serious now. Okay?"
Her voice grew quiet. "Yeah."
"See the thing was, sex itself was great. You sure as hell knew everything to do. But after sex, you were the best at just laying there and talking and listening. See sex is important to a guy. It is. Obviously. But a lot of the sex thing is the expulsion of the stress. It's like a physical stress cleansing. You know? So once the physical release ... Christ, I hate that word it's so 6th grade sex ed. Anyway, after the physical ... relief of the stress a man can just let his emotions out without fear of blurting them or making them sound too excessive. Do you get that?"
"Yeah. I get it."
"You were like the complete woman. Sex with you was a physical and an emotional event. It was phenomenal. So I just wanted to call you and tell you because it mattered to me that you know that."
She whispered, "Thank you. I'm glad you told me. But I'm also sorry you don't have anyone to tell that to now."
"How do you know that? Is that on Google too?" He leaked a jitter.
"Mark if you had someone, you wouldn't have called me."
"True enough. I miss that you know. And I'll be honest, I just miss that aspect of a woman. I have a lot of guy friends but there are just some kinds of conversations you can't have no matter how good the friend. You know?"
"I also know because I read your blog."
"Yeah. Thank God for Google!" She laughed.
"I guess. But now I feel stupid."
"No, I'm glad we're talking. You are intense. Your friend is right. But you read lonely. Your blog is one of the saddest things I've ever read."
"Really? But I'm not lonely."
"You sound like you are."
"No. I'm never lonely. Oh my God, I have like the best circle of friends. I do. God has put such great people around me. So I'm never lonely."
"Then why all the sadness?"
"Because I'm always lonesome."
"Do you ever get lonesome?"
"That wasn't a pass."
"I knew it wasn't. You haven't changed as much as you think you have. I remember you Mark. Your writing is exactly you. Just more ... intense is a good word. Your writing is you. And I'm married."
"You like him?"
"He's okay. But I'm married."
"I know. I swear to God this wasn't a hook up call. I just wanted you to know that someone on this earth saw the complete you. So. Thanks."
"I love you, Mark. Goodbye."
"Hey?" He heard her urgency.
"Write about me!"
"Yeah. You're going to be famous. Mention me so I can tell everyone I know you!" She laughed.
"Okay ..." his voice was uncharacteristically sheepish, "I have written about you."
"Go back and look. You'll know."