Okay a couple of weeks ago I had a conversation and for the love of God, I can’t remember who had it with me. I do remember the conversation: “how many people have you met who are honestly marriage material?” That’s how it began. I think. It’s the gist. I broadened the conversation over the next couple of weeks until it was, “how many people have actually met in your life you honestly like?”
Now anyone who knows me, knows my rote, “I fall in love every day.” And I do. I meet someone and I’m touched by his/her humanity and at that moment, I love them more than I’ve ever loved anyone. Truly. It’s not sexual; it’s spiritual; it's communal.
But how many people do you actually like as human beings? How many people do you encounter a day who make you feel peaceful? Joyful? Happy? Content? Communion? Among? How many people enrich your life? How many people offer additions?
Too damn few.
And how many people do you love? How many people make you feel happy that you simultaneously exist with them? And I have those people. I do. I could list at least 10 right now.
How many people do you actually hate as human beings? I’m saying how many people have you met in this world who lower the bar of humanity? You know, you dislike them with a passion that clouds your vision. And don’t give me bullshit. Unless you’ve got low expectations and/or pliable principles – you know people who are disappointing as human beings. I have no problem admitting this. I’m not a hog that eats anything thrown in the trough. I don’t like everyone. Well, because we’re not usually that alike. And honestly, some people suck.
I’m 55. I’ve reached that age. I’ve reached the age that I no longer tolerate people who are scum. And there are people who are scum. Please know that or at least know not to offer yourself for the panel of a selection committee. In the past I’ve tolerated people because a GF liked/associated with someone cringe worthy and so I tolerated the putrid with a hope for sex or to avoid the argument. All men have.
But I’m too old for that now.
And I’ve learned how to avoid the sickening spouse. You aren’t allowed to voice it – but it’s truly not that difficult to avoid the rancid. You’re just busy. And it never needs to be voiced because everyone in the situation knows how insufferable the spouse is.
And I'm not a dolt. I know there are many many people who do not like me. I am very polarizing. I'm okay with that.
Recently I’ve had the opportunity to socialize with someone who is so sickeningly vile I can’t tolerate his essence. Seriously. I find myself balling my fists in his presence and silently praying to control myself. And I don’t like living that way. And you know me. I have to make lists and comparisons. It’s who I am as a man. The other day I thought, “I’d rather spend time in an ER waiting room than be around him.” Truly. The fortunate aspect: he's my buddy's friend so I don't encounter him often.
If there is one benefit to this political climate – I call it the cockroach syndrome. We live in an era of enlightenment. There’s this gigantic light that instantly illuminates the vermin as it scurries. You know where to step when you’re walking through their filth to get outside of it.
Here’s the aspect of all this that upsets me: I keep narrowing my social circle. I have to guard myself I don’t create a noose for those who are merely nuisances.