Tuesday, March 6, 2018

Cock Blocked: Incite Into Male Friendships

Truisms in male friendships:

1. There is a code of ethics between friends that absolutely cannot be breached.

2. Men have few friends. Less than a handful.

3. Buddies and friends are not the same thing.

4. Neighbors are all about proximity and rarely about fraternity.

Got it?

Now. I'm a very social man. We all laugh that, "all roads lead to Mark." And then someone approaches our table, our booth, or our group - and I prove it. I flesh the Kevin Bacon game. Yet I have five male friends and two women friends. I have countless buddies.

So. I'm now going to address male friendships. Not the buddyhood. Not the neighborhood. There are five absolute deal breakers in male friendships:

1. Don't fuck his mother. (Self-explanatory)

2. Don't talk against his woman. (Don't question his choice.)

3. Don't cock block your friend. (Don't fuck with his game.)

4. Don't try to fuck your friend. (Even if you're both gay.)

5. Don't date your friend's G.U.D.s (Geographically undesirables i.e. his boss, his ex. If she's too close to him - back up. Don't force him to be in your relationship.)

These five deal breakers are absolute and without amendment. Don't give me "yeah, buts." Break one of the five and the friendship will not endure. I could offer an explanation ... but they're so obvious. And when a friend breaks one - you walk out. You don't have to explain. He knew it. Buddies and neighbors - don't explain. If he did it, he's not worth educating. More often than not - you only hung with him out of politeness and civility.