Sunday, April 1, 2018

Forked: The Halved Not

Lamentations is a great word but rather antiquated. And frankly I think of plastically protected memories and that’s apt. And yes I know the difference of the words. Laminating. I’m not stupid.  But they are similar. Both are about distance. So. Lamenting / laminating. Things that were, could’ve. It all doesn’t matter. It’s all isn’t. All removed.

I’m sitting in a hospital room. Feet perched. Awaiting surgery. So tomorrow it’s about the half. Tomorrow I lose the piece of my foot that enabled my foot to look like a foot and not a block. So tonight is about failure. I didn’t save it. Whether I could have saved it or not is not debatable. I could not. But how long I could have kept is, well ... let’s go with longer.  I could have kept it longer.  I didn’t. But. I’m not lamenting that.

I thought today about nouns. We noun everything. We make everything a was/is. There’s no evolution in a noun. No becoming in a noun. We noun everything. Yeah, I used noun as a verb. But that’s my plan. From this now and on: verbs. Change. Improve. Impress. Express. Evolution.  

So up first: heal.  4 weeks to heal the foot. I’m going to foot the foot. It’s a new foundation. More solid. More stable. 

I met an amazing physician Karen Williams, MD over my stay at Regions. She redescribed my heart to me. So. New eyes. A revision. A review.  

Secondly, I’m going to redesign my body. A new machine that puts my heart and soul into motion.  I’m going to try A plant based diet. I’ll watch the documentary Forks Over Knives on Netflix when I have WiFi strong enough to avoid the spinning cog.  

I died in my fall of 2016. I buried my hopes and happy and my confidence and my coulds and I laminated them in this carnal casket. I’ve allowed my body and soul to rot. 

Today is Easter Sunday. Today I resurrect my cans and wills.  

Apri 1, 2018: And now I rise.