Wednesday, April 4, 2018

Keeping Limber

It didn’t bother me until it was time to leave. I wrapped my head around the loss of a big toe. Just a toe. A toe. The podiatry department dropped a surgical shoe off while I slept. It was time to go home.  And I picked up the plastic bag and slid the surgical shoe out and I saw the size: men’s large. A size smaller. I lost a shoe size.

I remembered. Years ago I waited as the podiatric nurse located a surgical shoe that would fit my foot. An XL surgical shoe is an oddity. But she found one. 

I lost a size; I gained shame.

Okay.

Enough of that.

A new goal: keep the leg. It was a problematic toe. Each step risked the leg. 

So. First step: a whole food plant based diet. The dietician said I need protein to heal the foot. When it’s healed, I begin. I’ll blog it. 

A leg. I want the leg. 

Some times I can be so goddamned stupid. I spent the last 16 months worried about a heart and I’d completely forgotten my foot. Each morning for 17 months I cleaned the ulcer, slathered it with antibiotic ointment, and wrapped it. But I did it without a thought. I cared for it; I didn’t care about it. 

It’s time to be more careful. I have no clever ending. I want the leg. That’s the pot at the end of this monochromatic rainbow.  

I want the leg.