Saturday, May 12, 2018

Printings

I know I’m earnest to a fault. I do. But it’s so important to me to mark each moment. I think I’m perfectly named. A moment occurs and I mark it on my heart and immortal soul.

I hate being sick. I hate it. But there are so many moments of amazing insight. And maybe my thoughts and realizations are redundant in an enlightened world. But I love learning new things and acquiring new tools to hopefully become a better man. 

People are concerned about a carbon footprint but I think we need to focus even more on our caring footprint. Will the place we stood mark compassion and care and succor? When I’m gone will my example endure through the actions and reactions of those I treated as true brethren created by the same benevolent God? That’s important to me.

Yesterday I learned a tremendous lesson. Throughout my health crisis I’ve learned how to cope with fear. The fear of death. The fear of the loss of hope. The fear of the loss of security. In some ways it’s a synchronized moment of Divinity that I’m ill at the same moments as my parents. 

Yesterday I became so dizzy that I fainted and fell. I’ve bruised myself physically but I’ve also injured my sense of confidence. This morning I’m afraid to walk. Even from chair to chair. I’m so afraid to fall. 

And I’ve considered my parents today. I hold their hands or they hold my arm or I guide their backs as they negotiate their tasks. And today I know the fear and the loss of a sense of security and the loss of confidence. I know I see the elderly with more empathy and sympathy and I know I see their fragility as a mirror of all humanity.

I hate being sick. But I love seeing that we’re all connected as children in the communion of Divinity.