No. I can’t bike anymore. And no. I can’t swim anymore. And no. I can’t walk distances anymore. So fairs and malls and parking ramps and events are no longer possible. And no I can’t smoke anymore. And no I can’t drink like I did and carbs are in my rear view mirror. And no. I’m not grateful for the crosses of my chosens. Trost is goddamned grumpy without his capital sins. Diabetes won. Its prizes were my vices and pleasures. But.
But. I can sleep (although I don’t actually sleep) without guilt. Sure. Selfishness is easier. And sure selfish/selfless both rob the soul of peace. But one thing I’ve learned: a man isn’t called to walk. He’s called to stand before men and kneel before God. One doesn’t need ten toes for that vocation.