|My Father Mac Trost|
I watched the video of Derek Chauvin and George Floyd and I saw a murder.
It takes a certain amount of bravado to walk into potential danger. It takes self-confidence that you’ll do the right thing at the right time. And it takes a confidence that one can instantly discern proportion. Sometimes that confidence is earned through experience. And that’s wisdom. But sometimes that confidence is fueled by adrenaline. A purely biological reaction to an action.
I watched that video. I saw a man who had enough. He was full. Full of disgust. Full of hate. Full of frustration. Full of exhaustion. Full of being ridiculed. He was full. A man made impotent by a society that said he no longer had value.
Well, a man can be impotent, but there is still going to be release. And while I watched that video, I saw a man who forced his release. Because he was full. So much friction and he was full. The saddest aspect: he didn’t care the who. He cared getting the out. And so he put his hands in his pockets and he spewed.
And he murdered.
The other policemen: they saw a man who was full of experience and they didn’t have the self-confidence to intercede. Because they’re full too. And one thing they’re full of: a sense of brotherhood. A sense of US against all.
And so they murdered too. They murdered their immortal souls. They murdered their pride. They murdered their self-respect. They murdered their careers. They murdered their families’ pride. And they’ve murdered confidence in their profession.
Think of that word profession. The action of professed vows. Professed oaths. All gone.
Now, as a Roman Catholic I’ve witnessed the destruction of a profession as priesthood was decimated by a few who murdered hope and faith and confidence in humanity and a Deity.
And I still believe. I still believe in priesthood and policemen and the flag and the constitution.
But, I only have faith in God.